The Magic Tour Bus
I wrote this story in Europe as a writing assignment for my journal. I had it in my blog before and am re-posting it because I personally find it amusing.
...
There is a joke told about blonds. It says this: Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde jump into a pool. Who makes the biggest splash? The answer, of course, is the dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist. But if Aeryn did not exist, her companions might never have made it out of Switzerland...
Starring:
Aeryn: The Smart Blonde
Candy: The Not-So-Smart Brunette
and
Rock: The Rock
A bus pulled up to the sleepy-eyed town of Luzern. It wasn't a very strange bus. Tour buses passed in and out of the Swiss town every day. But later, by the time the Magic Tour Bus was far away, locals wondered why it left shimmering tracks behind it or why the exhaust seemed more like pixie dust than environmental waste. Mostly, they wondered why on Earth every passenger was wearing those awful lanyards. **This may not be a joke your small brain could comprehend. Or even your large one for that matter. We really did have to wear awful lanyards. Every day.**
One such passenger, an intelligent girl named Aeryn, stepped off the Magic Tour Bus and immediately snapped a picture of Lake Lucerne. She rolled her eyes, analyzing the clouds, as Candy bounced up to her.
"We were wondering if you wanted to be our group."
Aeryn looked around. "We're supposed to have three in a group."
"I know. That's why we want you to be in our group."
Aeryn looked around again. "We?"
Candy screwed up her eyes with confusion. Then it dawned on her. "Oh! You're silly." She extended her arm and a black lump was cradled in it. "Me and Rock of course."
Aeryn made shapes out of the clouds. They were laughing at her.
An hour later, Aeryn had lost track of where they were.
"Candy, do you have any idea where we are?" Stupid question.
"Uhm... I don't know. Ask Rock. I'm going into this store." Candy answered, handing Rock over gingerly and ran into a shoe store.
Aeryn sighed, exasperated. She looked at the cluster of nothing in her previously clean hand."I don't suppose you know where we are?"
"No idea."
"Okay. Just wondering." At this point, one would wonder why an inanimate object is able to talk. Well, this is because Rock is really just a terribly lazy 16-year-old disguised as a rock. What? You don't think a high school student would fit into your hand? Okay, well the real answer is that this is a fictional story and anything can happen in fiction. Rock happened to get accepted as an ambassador by a fluke in the system.
Aeryn followed her group member into the shoe store."Candy! I’m going to find a map." She yelled through the crowd."That's silly. We'll find our way back." Candy said as she walked up with another bag. "Come on. Let's go in here." She added, dragging Aeryn into a department store...
Aeryn scrutinized her reflection. She felt like a clone with the dress on that Candy forced her into. She was really fed up with this.
"Candy! We need to get back to the bus in 15 minutes and we don't have any idea where we are."
"But Aeryn!" Candy whined. "Look at that jacket! I have to get it for you!"
"We're leaving!"
"Rock! Tell her that she needs the jacket."
Candy's hand produced the talking lump. It stared at them without eyes and managed a "whatever" without a mouth. Aeryn pleaded silently for some sanity.
That didn't work out very well.
Candy started to cry. "Nobody likes me!"A cashier glanced up. "I like you." Aeryn screamed very loudly inside her head. Candy, on the other hand, smiled brightly.
"See Aeryn. He wants me to get you the jacket." Her logic was messing up Aeryn's head.
"Okay. That's it. We're leaving whether you like it or not missy." Aeryn nearly fainted with relief when the worked.
One hour later, the trio (some might say duo) was nearly run over trying to cross the street. They were forty-five minutes late.
Candy was still screaming her head off an hour later.
"Oh shut up already! I told you not to cross the street. It's your fault so don't punish the rest of us."
"But now I'm screaming because we're lost!"
"Well I warned you about that too, didn't I?"
"You have to do something Aeryn. You have to. I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life."
Aeryn closed her eyes, then turned them to the sky and looked for answers. "Come on. Let's see if somebody in here speaks English," Aeryn declared as she stomped into another clothing store.
"Look Aeryn! The jacket!" All Candy's fears were forgotten.
Aeryn found the shopkeeper. "Do you speak English?"
"Uhh. No. I don't speak English." Aeryn had to raise an eyebrow at the English accent. She scanned the crown for Candy.
"Candy! I changed my mind. I love the jacket." Aeryn forced excitement. "And I hope you don't mind asking that man for directions."Candy was so excited to be buying something that she felt it an honor to do Aeryn a favor.
"Excuse me! I want to buy this! Oh! And could you pretty please give us directions? We're lost." Candy said while unconsciously batting her eyelashes.
"For you! I speak English!"
...
There is a joke told about blonds. It says this: Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde jump into a pool. Who makes the biggest splash? The answer, of course, is the dumb blonde, because the other two don't exist. But if Aeryn did not exist, her companions might never have made it out of Switzerland...
Starring:
Aeryn: The Smart Blonde
Candy: The Not-So-Smart Brunette
and
Rock: The Rock
A bus pulled up to the sleepy-eyed town of Luzern. It wasn't a very strange bus. Tour buses passed in and out of the Swiss town every day. But later, by the time the Magic Tour Bus was far away, locals wondered why it left shimmering tracks behind it or why the exhaust seemed more like pixie dust than environmental waste. Mostly, they wondered why on Earth every passenger was wearing those awful lanyards. **This may not be a joke your small brain could comprehend. Or even your large one for that matter. We really did have to wear awful lanyards. Every day.**
One such passenger, an intelligent girl named Aeryn, stepped off the Magic Tour Bus and immediately snapped a picture of Lake Lucerne. She rolled her eyes, analyzing the clouds, as Candy bounced up to her.
"We were wondering if you wanted to be our group."
Aeryn looked around. "We're supposed to have three in a group."
"I know. That's why we want you to be in our group."
Aeryn looked around again. "We?"
Candy screwed up her eyes with confusion. Then it dawned on her. "Oh! You're silly." She extended her arm and a black lump was cradled in it. "Me and Rock of course."
Aeryn made shapes out of the clouds. They were laughing at her.
An hour later, Aeryn had lost track of where they were.
"Candy, do you have any idea where we are?" Stupid question.
"Uhm... I don't know. Ask Rock. I'm going into this store." Candy answered, handing Rock over gingerly and ran into a shoe store.
Aeryn sighed, exasperated. She looked at the cluster of nothing in her previously clean hand."I don't suppose you know where we are?"
"No idea."
"Okay. Just wondering." At this point, one would wonder why an inanimate object is able to talk. Well, this is because Rock is really just a terribly lazy 16-year-old disguised as a rock. What? You don't think a high school student would fit into your hand? Okay, well the real answer is that this is a fictional story and anything can happen in fiction. Rock happened to get accepted as an ambassador by a fluke in the system.
Aeryn followed her group member into the shoe store."Candy! I’m going to find a map." She yelled through the crowd."That's silly. We'll find our way back." Candy said as she walked up with another bag. "Come on. Let's go in here." She added, dragging Aeryn into a department store...
Aeryn scrutinized her reflection. She felt like a clone with the dress on that Candy forced her into. She was really fed up with this.
"Candy! We need to get back to the bus in 15 minutes and we don't have any idea where we are."
"But Aeryn!" Candy whined. "Look at that jacket! I have to get it for you!"
"We're leaving!"
"Rock! Tell her that she needs the jacket."
Candy's hand produced the talking lump. It stared at them without eyes and managed a "whatever" without a mouth. Aeryn pleaded silently for some sanity.
That didn't work out very well.
Candy started to cry. "Nobody likes me!"A cashier glanced up. "I like you." Aeryn screamed very loudly inside her head. Candy, on the other hand, smiled brightly.
"See Aeryn. He wants me to get you the jacket." Her logic was messing up Aeryn's head.
"Okay. That's it. We're leaving whether you like it or not missy." Aeryn nearly fainted with relief when the worked.
One hour later, the trio (some might say duo) was nearly run over trying to cross the street. They were forty-five minutes late.
Candy was still screaming her head off an hour later.
"Oh shut up already! I told you not to cross the street. It's your fault so don't punish the rest of us."
"But now I'm screaming because we're lost!"
"Well I warned you about that too, didn't I?"
"You have to do something Aeryn. You have to. I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life."
Aeryn closed her eyes, then turned them to the sky and looked for answers. "Come on. Let's see if somebody in here speaks English," Aeryn declared as she stomped into another clothing store.
"Look Aeryn! The jacket!" All Candy's fears were forgotten.
Aeryn found the shopkeeper. "Do you speak English?"
"Uhh. No. I don't speak English." Aeryn had to raise an eyebrow at the English accent. She scanned the crown for Candy.
"Candy! I changed my mind. I love the jacket." Aeryn forced excitement. "And I hope you don't mind asking that man for directions."Candy was so excited to be buying something that she felt it an honor to do Aeryn a favor.
"Excuse me! I want to buy this! Oh! And could you pretty please give us directions? We're lost." Candy said while unconsciously batting her eyelashes.
"For you! I speak English!"
posted by Starry-Eyed at 9:56 PM
1 Comments:
Somehow, Candy reminded me of a very creepy mix of Roxie and Elle Woods. And I cannot stress the word creepy enough.
And a little bit of Darlene, now that I think about it.
I liked the Rock.
-Maria
PS. Sorry about the lanyards. It's almost as bad as wearing a large neon sign on your chest that flashes the words "HELLO I'M A TOURIST" every two seconds.
PPS. And also, about the Candy=Roxie bit, Roxie wouldn't be batting her eyes unconsciously at the sales guy. It would be in a very very conscious fashion. I bet Peter is still scarred.
PPPS. I like how my postscripts are longer than my actual message. But that's okay.
PPPPS. Also, this is the first comment! How incredibly cool is that? Eh?
Post a Comment
<< Home